Hey fam, I have a question for you:
What makes you feel powerful?
Good question, I know I know! But think about it for a sec...
For me, being in control of my happiness makes me feel powerful and brings me a crazy amount of peace.
And life has been so peaceful lately.
I'm planning for it to remain that way for a while.
All credit to God first and foremost for placing me in situations that tested me and my strength which overall led to all this peace. I was placed within situations where I could've choosen violence but chose my peace instead. And for those of you that know me and levels I can go... all I can say is growth!
Do you guys remember my word "Soft Girl" where I talked about choosing the soft life and denouncing the "strong black woman" narrative?
I still stand on eveything I said but between March 2022 and now, life started lifing and letting go of that hyper independent, 'my strength must be seen' mindset was waaaaay harder than I thought. Choosing 'soft' was such a struggle for me because I didn't want to be perceived as weak and be taken advantage of because we all know people can get carried away when they think you're soft. But being soft and being soft are two very different things. You all know what I mean.
But let me tell you something, the moment I stopped truly giving a f**k about the perception of others, the soft life chose me babes!
The weight of my own perception of myself has become superior.
Like, thank you but how you feel about me is above me now. And that's never meant to come out in a rude tone but I truly do not give a damn anymore. I attribute that to getting older and just not having the energy to deal with anyone elses feelings but my own.
Even in trying times I find myself doing what I can within my control and what happens after that doesn't have anything to do with me. This shows itself within work, my relationships, and within my own challenges.
Since then, my anxiety has slowly lessened, allowing me to step into a season of life centered around fueling my future so that my thoughts of the future don't give me anxiety. Does that make sense?
I'm setting up my future so that I'm somewhat aware of what's to come.
And I'm well aware that if you wanna make God laugh, make plans.
So obviously nothing is set in stone but I'm just trying to make it easier for myself later. I'm starting to realize that life doesn't have to be this big scary "what if" or a "how will I know".
All you can know is what you set up and everything else will happen how it should with good faith and intentionality. The true lesson here is to know your worth enough to prioritze your peace in every aspect.
Know your worth enough to:
-Stop arguing with people and just say 'okay'
-Stop overthinking the past
-Stop valuing external validation
-Stop dimming your light to let others shine
-Stop hiding your feelings
-Stop worrying about shit you can't control.
Once all of that shit comes to a full stop I believe those of us that want it, will truly master peace.