Favorite Stranger by Briana A.
"I'll mourn all the memories that never had a chance to grow.."
Relationships are hard work right?
Learning each other, loving each other, choosing each other... is all an ongoing process.
Everyone seems to think it's as cut and dry as you work or you don't but in reality it's all so complicated.
This isn't going to the place you thought it was because I'm absolutely not talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking about the most complicated relationship of them all... friendships.
I want to know when friendships got so damn hard to maintain?!
They come to us so easy when we're young.
You like Bratz dolls and pink? Cool, so do I. Let's be best friends. I'll be your BFF even though you won't let me be my favorite Cheetah Girl when we play pretend.
Then one day when we're older we'll distance ourselves until we eventually no longer speak. But what happens to the secrets told at sleepovers or those dreams of all we'll do together when we're older?
Do you see what I'm saying? One day it's easy peasy and the next day I have to act like I don't see you while I'm shopping in Target...
I will admit as a 27 year old with a total of 2 people I can truly call friends, I often wonder what happened? I used to be the girl with tons of friends and now I find it hard to build genuine connections with people.
Being the hyper aware individual that I am, I'm pretty sure it all went left when I became selfish and impatient when it came to friendships.
I had spent majority of my friendships as "the one you can always count on".
Eventually I grew tired of that and stopped letting the little things that bothered me go. I was at a point in life where things were rapidly changing for me and I needed to feel supported and anything that felt like less than support needed to go. I got rid of all the besties that were only that when the title applied to me. I got rid of those that never encouraged but always found a way to downplay.
After slowly plucking everyone away, filling their spots with new people was the last thing I wanted to do. And hanging out with those that were left felt oddly nerve-wrecking.
We all have our stories but no one truly talks about how traumatizing losing friendships can be as a sensitive adult. Because at this point my trust and patience isn't growing. I have what I have and it isn't much.
Do you think I have the time to waste on learning, loving and choosing new people just for a familiar outcome to take place? This shit is scary.
Are we actually outgrowing each other as friends or am I just no longer in the mood to put up with your attitude? Are you really not a good friend or are you just going through life's shit and having a hard time balancing?
But one thing I've learned fairly recently, like yesterday, is that it's not time wasted. It's fulfilling a basic human need. We need people!!
Yes, it takes time and effort and trust and all the things but at the end of it all there's so much beauty in community. Sharing experiences, creating memories, supporting and caring for one another and choosing to work through the kinks of the ever changing human experience. Its all really quite beautiful.
The secrets told at sleepovers and the dreams of all you'll do together when you're older don't disappear but they transfer to people more deserving.
Creating and maintaining friendships as an adult can really feel like a chore but at the end of the day your friendships deserve the same amount of love and attention you give to romantic relationships.
About the featured writer:
My name is Briana A.
I'm a poet from Prince George’s County MD and i’m currently based in Richmond VA. I started writing poetry and short stories in middle school. As a quiet kid I always had a lot to say but never really knew how to get the words out poetry became a beautiful outlet. College is where my passion and talent grew and where I created my poetry page. My goal was to share my work not only in hopes that I could make someone feel seen by speaking my truth but also inspire someone to start doing the same. As I get older and move through life I'm always inspired by the different journeys, feelings, and lessons im facing and that’s what keeps me writing.
You can find more of Briana's work on Instagram @notesbybri_ and TikTok @_notesbybri_
Be on the lookout for Briana's upcoming book "Explicit" at the end of 2023!