Friends and Family!
First of all, Happy Black History Month!
We celebrate Black Existence every day over at A Word but it feels good to have a month to be a little extra...extra, right?!
In honor of this month and all that it represents for my people, I want to tap into the topic of Black Resistance.
Most of us, have an understanding of how it feels to be the only one of our kind within a space. The feeling is very apparent and we notice it immediately whilst everyone else in the room has no idea. And as someone who has spent a large amount of time in predominantly white spaces, I understand it to often be anxiety inducing but not in the ways one would typically think.
At the moment, I'm the only Black person on my "team" at work. It wasn't always that way, however my homegirl left me (how dare she) due to a number of reasons but mainly due to the microaggressions she'd faced while working with someone she reported to directly. I completely understand her leaving but since she's left it has become clear that I have become her replacement in certain aspects.
For those who are unfamiliar with the term (do your research because you may be part of the problem), microaggressions are defined as an indirect, subtle or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group.
The definition may seem a bit harsh to some because of the word "discrimination". No one wants to admit that they're being discriminated against, especially in the workplace because more often than not we're categorizing things as "not that big of a deal" but that's the point. The small stuff is what we should be paying attention to. For me, the version of microaggression I face shows itself in the level of respect that I'm given.
It's very clear to me that I don't receive the same level of respect as my non-Black counterparts. We all work within the same position but as the token, eyes are on me as the one that stands out. The standards for myself are always a bit higher and the disapproval is harsher when I fall short in certain aspects.
Let's chat about these standards for a second.
Outside of the workplace, I'm expected to be strong and put together. You know, the strong Black woman theory? I'm supposed to be resilient and intuitive to ensure that I don't fall under the lazy, angry, aggressive, etc. stereotype. Imagine that pressure with the added weight of professionalism on top...
As a Black woman, work isn't just work for me and others; its a performance. I'm working above my wage to combat stigma. I'm incredibly good at what I do, not just because I enjoy my work but because I'm not going to allow anyone to look at me and put me in a box.
Along with the image of a Black woman under professional pressure placed on her by society itself, let's add on those microaggressions we've been talking about.
For me that comes in the form of exclusion from group conversation (formal or casual) regarding changes being made or suggestions on changes, walking into a room without acknowledging my presence (I am really just a hallucination to these people), not speaking to me unless I'm with someone else or interrupting a conversation I'm having with someone without so much as an "excuse me". Or the simple, plain ole aggression; telling me I'm not doing a good enough job at what I do because I don't put forth the same attitude or drive that my coworkers provide. Imagine why that is?
I have painted this beautiful picture of WTF to show you all that although I recognize microaggressions for what they are (ignorance), I've long since given up on giving the aggressors the satisfaction of knowing that I'm irked.
I read an Amanda Seales quote saying "Tryna get paid ain't just about skill. You've got to master your job and your job's people."
The job is taken care of but when it comes to its people, I have to be a little bit more strategic in my approach to saving my energy and maintaining my peace because, I'm here to work, get my check, and go home.
One thing I've come to understand is that although I have to work closely with these individuals, I do not have to hold myself to their standards. I just simply do what I do, and I do it well.
It's giving, complete my tasks and mind my business.
I've also learned to address the micro, macro, teeny tiny, I think I'm funny-aggressions immediately because what you're not going to do project your inability to see people as they are onto me. Not during Black History Month or any other month if we're being real.
So what exactly did you mean by that statement? Were you aware of the offensive tone of which you spoke? Am I the only person you've addressed this concern with? And if so, I would like to explore why.
I've stopped allowing people to devalue me because my attributes to the cause appear differently and include a little bit more flavor than those around me and you should too.
Furthermore, I'm walking in with "Knuck if You Buck" playing through my AirPods. Do with that information as you will.
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